Thinner

The year I turned 15, my life was forever changed by a number.  A seemingly innocent question by a friend of mine about how much I weighed ripped off the rose-colored glasses of childhood.  Not only had it never occurred to me to weigh myself, it had also never crossed my mind to compare that number with everyone else.   And so began a thirty year battle with numbers - numbers on a scale, numbers on a measuring tape, numbers on a clothing tag.

Growing up as a dancer didn't help.  No bump or roll could be hidden in the leotards we wore to class.  Every Monday was a new diet to be tried and every Friday was the beginning of a weekend food bender.  Working out and studying diet books became my hobbies.  Everything revolved around getting thinner.

Amazingly, it's only been in the past few years that I've come to terms with who I am and how I'm made.  I'll never look like Angelina Jolie.  And, that's ok, because I'm finally discovering the power of true thinness.

In truth, I am just a clay jar sitting on the Potter's wheel.  But slowly, as He turns the wheel and works that clay, bit by bit, I become thinner.  The process is not easy, and is sometimes downright painful.  Over time, the clay softens in His skilled fingers. As I allow myself to be stretched and shaped, I become thinner and thinner until the once thick, heavy clay now appears almost transparent.  But the power isn't in my transparency; the power is only found inside the jar....filled with the pure gold of the Master Potter Himself. 

Pure gold that can now be seen because He has changed me. And made me thinner.